Self care is a real theme for life at the moment. We live in a busy world, where instant gratification is rife. We no longer have to wait for anything, want to watch the latest series? We don’t have to wait till next week for the next episode - we can watch it all now. Want that book/gadget now? Amazon prime it. Want to connect with someone? whatsapp/facebook message/instagram DM - we no longer even have to write an email, let alone pick up the telephone and there is an expectation that the response is pretty immediate.
In a world where connection is easy, the connection that matters most, the one with ourselves is at its most dis-connected.
Everyone is figuring it out. There are no rules, no guidelines, no instructions for how to manage this digital world. And quite frankly for most of us as parents, we can’t help but be a bit scared about what lies ahead.
So how can we make it work for us, how can we get the balance right? Here are my top tips...
1. Edit it ALL, regularly. Life editing is a bit of a skill, whether it's your wardrobe, your kitchen drawer, or your instagram feed. We are scared of editing out the stuff thats no longer relevant, no longer inspires us, and where there is fear there is usually no action. What we look at matters, it affects our thoughts, our minds, our mood. Think of it as a curation, take your time, think about what matters to you.
2. Stop doing stuff that makes you feel shit. We do it everyday, mostly unconsciously, take the time to notice what makes you feel bad. Start there. We have huge power here and most of the time we just ignore it. Whether it's a friend that drains our energy and mood, whether it's an instagram account that makes us feel bad, whether it's a drawer full of knickers and socks with holes in them, notice and take action.
3. Self care isn’t all about hot baths, and time alone, although both are very nice. Self care is quite simply caring for yourself. And it's HARD. The majority of us are kind, thoughtful and compassionate, we find it super easy to care for others, we seem to instinctively know exactly what other people need but find it difficult to know for ourselves. So how do you switch the balance? PRACTICE. Ask yourself right now ‘what is the kindest thing I could do for myself right now?’ Now go do it…
4. Communication. We are all communicating every day, so why does it sometimes feel like we haven’t always been heard? After the majority of conversations, we make assumptions and those assumptions form our thoughts and actions. A lot of the time our assumptions are misplaced, made up, and quite frankly wrong. SO ask intelligent questions, have hard conversations, explain how you feel, go back and check your understanding.
5. Make up your own rules! Boundaries are simply what's OK and what's not OK. We are really good at setting them with our children, and do it all the time to keep them safe, happy and loved. We so rarely set boundaries for ourselves, in our relationships, with our work. Give yourself permission to make up your own rules! What will help keep you safe, happy and loved? What's not OK for you at the moment? How could it be different? What needs to happen now?
Change is possible, but nothing changes if nothing changes.
Mary Meadows (aka the ‘Badass Life Coach’) is on a mission to help mothers feel good about themselves in all areas of their lives and to give them the tools and techniques they need to support themselves when life runs at 100mph. To find out more head over marybadassmeadows.com