Please hear what I have to say. It is really important.
I see you there, behind the camera. When you post a picture to your social media I see the smiling faces of your children, but I also see you too. I see your pride; I see your success right there in that pixelated image of your offspring. You need to see yourself too.
You know, as well as I do, that having the title of ‘Mum’ is a big one. It’s the most important job you have had. It's developing well rounded, kind, happy, children. It is feeding them nutritious food, it's clothing them. Sometimes on your own, sometimes as a team with your partner. But no one else is their Mum. I’ll be honest; I sometimes find the weight of that overwhelming. Stop being so hard on yourself, you are doing great.
It is easy to get bogged down in it all. All your tasks, your to-do lists. Washing, ironing, going to work.
It’s easy to push yourself down and down that list or not even be on it at all. My nails have had half-on nail varnish for over a week and I haven’t got round to even removing it - let alone re-applying. It’s a symbol of how I push my own needs, wellbeing, further and further down, because something more ‘important’ arises. But what is more important than looking after you? And I’m not talking painting your nails - that’s just a metaphor. I am talking doing things for you. Things you like. Time for yourself.
You must be kind to yourself. You are a Mum but you are YOU too. You are a priority as much as your family. I know you feel guilt when you spend money on things for yourself and not your children. I know you feel it when you are out and they are at home with the babysitter. Let’s stop this. You deserve things for yourself and a night off. Do not rush home and do not take that top back to the shop. Just try it.
Stop and put your lippy on for the park. Wear those nice clothes that are hanging in your wardrobe for ‘best’. It’s ok to spend time on yourself. Read a book, have a bath, get sloshed with friends, paint your nails, exercise - whatever you fancy. Put YOU on that bloody list - maybe not at the top, as we all know we put those tiny ones first, but please, please, please at least be on it somewhere.
Somewhere between dentist appointments, dance classes and food shopping.
Lots of Love,
Emma AKA Mum of Mad Lads